Speaking of interviews, I have one up here on Booksnatch that includes a giveaway of “The Canticle Kingdom”. Hop on over for more details.
Interviewer: Today with us we have Jarom the cherub. He’s looking a little shell shocked. What’s the matter, kid? Never seen a city before?
Jarom: Actually, no, not an earthly one. It’s a little…dingy.
Interviewer: What did you expect? You mean they don’t let you look down here with your little heavenly periscopes or something?
Jarom: Oh, we could. I just never wanted to. It is heaven after all.
Interviewer: So, first I want to ask, are the streets there really paved with gold?
Jarom: Gold? For a garbage can maybe. We’ve got much better stuff than gold up there.
Interviewer: Interesting. Now tell me, what about St. Peter? Does he really sit up there at the gates and wait for everyone? Sounds like that could get a little boring.
Jarom: I think it would be more accurate to say the “Saints Peter” do that job.
Interviewer: I don’t understand.
Jarom: The St Peter you’re thinking about only does it once in a while. Basically, they recruit anyone who happens to be named Peter and split up the shifts among them. Most newcomers are too starry-eyed to notice the difference.
Interviewer: So what’s your job up there? Do you work for Cupid or something?
Jarom: Cupid? Heavens, no. He may look cuddly, but don’t get on his bad side, and don’t even think about using the word ‘cute’. Those heart-tipped arrows are plenty sharp. I actually work in the ambrosia business.
Interviewer: Ambrosia? Tell us about it.
Jarom: It’s only best food on heaven or earth. Manna comes in at a close second. Sometimes we even mix the too and have ambrosia filled manna. Literally, a match made in heaven.
Interviewer: So would you care to share the recipe? Sounds like I could win a few contests with that one.
Jarom: I only wish I could. Sharing the secrets of Heaven with man is a banishable offense. If you a taste, I’d have to kill you.
Interviewer: A donut to die for. Now you’re just being cruel.
Jarom: I really am sorry. One angel who gave away secrets got made a destroying angel thousands of years. I can’t think of anything worse than that.
Interviewer: Do you have a pet peeve? Do angels have pet peeves?
Jarom: I assure you they do. And I know mine. It’s when people say ‘cherubs’. It’s not a word. More than one cherub and you say ‘cherubim’. Tell your friends.
Interviewer: I know you’re busy, but is there anything else you can tell us about heaven?
Jarom: Just that it’s worth it. I miss it like crazy already, and I’d do anything to get back. Something tells me that there’s a rocky road ahead before that happens.
Interview: Thank you, Jarom. We’ll let you get on to your assignment. There you have it folks, from the mouth of an actual cherub, proving that there actually are donuts in heaven.